oh-eight twenty-one oh-seven

so much for mopping the turtleboy's room today.. i spent enough time cleaning the rest of the house, that i didn't get to his or the diva's room. but on the upside, the rest of the house is clean, and laundry is done.

i got a call from heather today, too, after i'd picked up the twins from school. she told me that she needed to find work, because the cost of the lawyer was just killing her, and what i paid her just wasn't enough to keep afloat since she doesn't watch any other kids now, either. i'm glad she told me the way she did.. she'd even found a replacement for me. we went for me to meet her at five-thirty, and let me tell you.. i love what i've seen of her place and her manner. so the twins will start being watched by her on monday. i just have to call the bus barn and let them know, and the school too, to change some contact information.

i'll have to start cooking again for them, though.. which means i'm going to have to get used to cooking big meals three times a week, or even a good meal once a day... but before i leave for work. i think i can do that. i mean, hell.. i'm going to be doing that while j is here, anyway, it'll just mean starting three-ish months before he gets here.

so that's today in a nutshell. i'm going to go nap for now, until it's time to bid j a good morning.

oh-eight fifteen oh-seven

i wrenched my back today, before i left for work. it hurt like hell, but i didn't think it was bad enough to miss work for.. so in i went.

after two hours of work, i was begging for mercy, and so i went to the minor care clinic.. who referred me on to the emergency department. i spent two and a half hours in the e.d. mostly spent waiting (but it was a short wait, comparably speaking).. they took xrays to make sure i didn't really screw my back nine ways to sunday.. and they gave me non-narcotic pain-reliever and muscle-relaxers. they helped somewhat, but not enough to keep me from going home.

the e.d. wanted me to go home immediately after they released me, but i couldn't do that to the other tech on duty. luckily, while i was gone, the paminator managed to get someone else to come in. so i stayed for another two hours, to make sure as much was done as possible before i left, thereby not leaving the other two techs in a bind.

but now i'm home.. and the diva says she'll take care of me tomorrow.. but until then, i'm going to take the narcotic drugs they prescribed for me for painrelief and muscle relaxation.. and then i'm going to see how long i can wait up to see j before he goes to work.. and then i'm going to drag my carcass off to bed where hopefully a beautifully drugged sleep will help heal my back.

oh-eight thirteen oh-eight

it was a lovely weekend, spent with my family. the only downside to it was when we went swimming.

i'd just sat down at the pool, and brenna stepped into an area just deeper than she was tall. the older kids had just turned their backs and didn't see her.. so i hurried my tushie into the water to scoop her out.

i hadn't had a chance to take my phone out of my pocket yet. it's toasted.

so i'm trying to replace it.. but because i have a go-phone, i can't order a new phone online -and- keep my same number, and the huge balance i have on my account. no.. i have to go to the actual cingular store to buy a new phone, where i won't get a discount. i'm looking at a hundred and nineteen dollars to get the same pho ne that only cost me fifty the first time around.

on the upside... j got his itinerary confirmed!! he'll be arriving here on december first!!!

oh-eight oh-seven oh-seven

right.. so where to start today..

i spent a lot of time on the phone today.. my first phone call being at some point just before ten in the morning... waking me up out of a sound sleep. and luckily for all parties involved, the caller was j.. who happens to be the only person that can wake me up without me snapping his head off. it's just amazing how my irritated grimace can turn into a soppy grin when i hear his voice.

but phone calls, yes... my sister - we talked about the home schooling curriculums that she's bought for two of three kids thusfar... and about getting my help in organizing things with her to launch their next school year off without a hitch. she's asked me to help in the teaching part... which i will gladly do when i can be there to do so. and we got to talking about all the possible field trips there could be to take the kids on.

phone call from my mom - we talked about field trip ideas and childsupport.. and finally something near and dear to her heart to go on about... me. she wants to see me taking college courses, even if it's just one course at a time. i'm open to the idea now.. i really do need to further my education.. and while i'm not sure what i would go for a bachelors degree in, even an associates degree would be a step up from where i am now. mom wants me to think strongly about going in to teaching.. which is where the conversations on field trips headed. in light of my son's disabilities, she thinks i would make an excellent teacher for challenged children. i think she's probably right about that... though i'm not certain teaching is the way i want to go with something like that. still.. it's an option, and something to set starting goals to.

phone call from my babysitter - we talked about the court hearing yesterday in the custody hearing of her youngest son by her no-good, not-fit-to-raise-a-child (soon to be ex) husband... and the description of her ex is not mine... it's actually from his father.. which says a lot. we also got cleared up on when the twins would be coming back to her for watching. all good, i'd say.

then there was the call -to- the twins. i called them just to hear their voices... the little diva can go on and on and on about nothing in particular, just chattering happily away, whereas the turtleboy usually has very little to say on the phone at all. it was still lovely to talk to them, though.. and i talked to my ex afterward to get a few things straightened up with him.. like where and when to meet me for the changing-of-the-twins, and that he's supposed to remember to bring a universal remote for my tv.. and the new hamster cage for happy.. with new food, to boot. all in all, a good conversation.

now... i've managed to push eating again.. been slipping on that a lot lately, while assuring people i haven't been starving myself.... which is exactly what i had been doing. eating just gets to be so much of an effort, and i don't guess i'll ever get completely over my issues with it. but for now, since all i was doing was nibbling on stuff here and there, not really eating anything, i'm pushing myself to eating something four or five times a day... not anything huge, mind.. because my tummy just doesn't seem capable of dealing with a full, heavy meal at this point... and since what i'd been nibbling on was crap food (like chocolate and dessert sweets, and snack foods), i've been forcing the four or five grazing periods to be with fresh produce (mostly fruit), cottage cheese, and half a bagel. (no, i really can't eat a whole one. i end up with a tummy ache.) healthy stuff, right? And i'm eating. The biggest problem i'm having with it is getting enough protein in... i'm really not wanting to eat any meats, but i know i need the protein.. so for now, until i can squeeze meats back into my diet in any volume, i'm drinking a nutritional drink that has thirty percent of the recommended daily intake of protiens included in it's nummy vanilla flavor. not the best i could be doing.. but better than cutting meat completely out of my diet. i'll get back to something approaching regular again.. it goes in phases, it seems.. or something like that. With effort and perseverance, i'll get back to something more normal.

in the mean time, maybe i'll lose some weight